from The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a new meta-analysis of COVID data, the Center for Disease Control has updated its guidelines to just do what your hillbilly Uncle Frank said to do four years ago.

“After tasking dozens of the best minds in science to review hundreds of studies, we have determined that Uncle Frank was right the whole time,” announced C.D.C. director Dr. Mandy Cohen. “Basically, just treat it like the flu. So, um, sorry about that whole ‘you can’t be with your dying husband’ deal. Our bad.”