from The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Children sitting at the kids’ table during Kamala Harris’s family Thankgiving dinner were confused and “a little frightened” as she gave a speech urging them not to “let anyone steal your power,” sources confirmed Thursday.
Harris gave the rousing address after parking herself on a small Little Tikes chair next to the youngsters, her “sixth or seventh” glass of cabernet in hand.
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“Don’t let anyone steal your…your power,” Harris reportedly said as the children glanced at each other awkwardly. “Riley, listen up, honey,” she continued, addressing one girl as Harris slowly blinked and swayed gently from side to side. “Girl, you hear what I’m sayin’? Don’t you ever let anybody take your power from you.”
“Nuh-uh. Not in this house. That’s right, honey.” Harris then attempted to fist-bump the girl but missed, unbalancing herself and sloshing a bit of wine onto the carpet.
“What we did was [hiccup] unpresidented,” she continued as her husband, Doug, came to gently lead her to a couch in the living room. “Un-unprecedented. In 107 days, we raised, like, a billion dollars. Do you know how much money that is, girl? It’s like, a lot of money.”
At publishing time, kids were being told to “keep it down” as “Aunt Kamala has a cold” and needed to sleep for a bit.
