by Matt Margolis, PJ Media:
No one likes a “dirty water” dog and a knish more than I, but New York City — or “Moscow on the Hudson,” as I call it — isn’t safe to visit these days, for several reasons.
If you think the overwhelming stench of jazz salad is annoying, wait until you drive your loafer into a steaming pile of human feces Eric Adams street kabob.
I don’t perform comedy shows in New York City at this point. My lefty friends tell me I’m being pusillanimous — kidding, they aren’t smart enough for that word — for not wanting to risk a street crime.
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That’s not the case. I grew up in an “evolving” neighborhood in Detroit. I moved to New York City in 1986, when 1,309 New Yorkers were redrummed in the first 10 months of the year. I lived in New York City during the early 1990s, when north of 2,000 people were slaughtered each year. I’ve paid my dues.
Bernhard Goetz — a 37-year-old white man — shot four black teens who surrounded him and asked for a $5 “donation” back in 1984, making himself something of a hero back when your average New Yorker was sick of getting bopped, robbed, raped, or shot.
Goetz would eventually beat the attempted murder rap and do a mere 250 days in jail on an illegal gun charge. Those were the days, my friend.
What’s truly terrifying isn’t so much today’s crime rate, but being sent to jail if I clock an animal trying to kill me or brutalize my fiancee.
Commie prosecutors — many funded by George Soros — have been told to punish crime victims who dare stand up for and protect themselves from the lefty legions of drug zombies, street thugs, and modern brown shirts who roam the outhouses we once called Chicago, Austin, New York City, Seattle, and San Francisco — in other words, Democrat-run American cities.
FACT-O-RAMA! As you were baking ham and attending church, Chicago celebrated Easter weekend by ventilating 23 people, five of whom died.
Getting jumped is scary. Going to jail for fighting back is terrifying, and that’s what’s happening in Democrat dumps around the nation (and even in red states that ought to know better).
The McCloskeys
You may remember the McCloskeys. The gun-wielding coupl had the audacity to arm themselves and stare down a large group — 300-500 strong — of BLM skanks and their non-binary sisters in Antifa, who had broken into their gated neighborhood.
Kim Gardner, the St. Louis bolshie prosecutor, had the McCloskey home searched. The AR-15 Mr. McCloskey held was purloined. That groovy little silver pistol Mrs. McCloskey held (like a perfume bottle if you ask me) was already in her lawyer’s safe.
After they were unarmed, the crowd returned. The McCloskeys tried to hire private security and could get none. One security specialist suggested the couple abandon their home.
They chose not to. The crowd returned and threatened to kill the McCloskeys. The animals screamed taunts — they even claimed they’d kill the family dog.
The McCloskeys eventually pleaded guilty to misdemeanors — for protecting their home from hundreds of miscreants — and paid fines.