from The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials within the FBI have warned that naming Kash Patel director of the Bureau could seriously undermine the agency’s work on not releasing the Epstein client list.
For years, the FBI has poured massive amounts of resources into not releasing the Epstein list, the Nashville shooter manifesto, the JFK files, and results the Las Vegas shooter investigation, all of which could be undone by Patel’s nomination.
“We have done such incredible work not releasing the names of sex-trafficking pedophiles,” said a senior official on condition of anonymity. “All of that could come crashing down. Next thing you know, we might have to prosecute sex traffickers. Everything the Bureau stands for would be threatened.”
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At publishing time, officials had also warned that Patel’s nomination could seriously hamper ongoing efforts to jail dangerous 90-year-old grandmothers who pray outside of abortion clinics.
