Fear Not, Patriots, Trump Just Won the Election

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by Kevin Downey Jr, PJ Media:

My lovely fiancee Jessica wanted to go to the bar to sulk after the ridiculous verdict against Trump came down. It’s easy to be sad. Commie animals outside the courtroom — too stupid to see that they too can now be politically persecuted — are cheering. Facebook dopes are taking victory laps just as they have done after every nonsensical strike Trump has taken but always recovered from. One thing I adore about communists is that they never learn from their mistakes.

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I knew the fix was in for Trump when the White House revealed Biden would pull up his Depends adult diapers and give a talk after the verdict was released.

I also knew the guilty verdict would, like every other accusation they’ve thrown against Trump, make him stronger. To quote my Motor City hometown hero Bob Seger, “Every time they were sure they had you caught, you were quicker than they thought. You just turned your head and walked.”

Non-Americans will celebrate this flapdoodle, much like Nancy Pelosi, who went on Bill Maher’s show to cheer after a Trump impeachment.

“And you’re impeached forever,” Pelosi joyously quipped as weak apparatchiks cheered. Yet again, Trump persevered.

I promise you, patriots, that this verdict only helps Trump. If you don’t believe me, tell me which manufactured scandal has hurt him.

FACT-O-RAMA! I told Jessica I’d rather take that bar money we would have spent tonight and give it to Trump, but the donation site was forced down due to too many donors sending him their cash. We will try again in a bit.

As our own Victoria Taft wrote, the Communist News Network (CNN) reported that a guilty verdict won’t hurt Trump at all. What the CNN stooge-fest failed to address is how much this courtroom codswallop will help push Trump over the winner’s line in November. I have the answer: It will help him immeasurably.

As I am writing this, I am listening to a 77-year-old woman who called WMAL to say she has never donated to a political candidate but is planning to do so now that Trump has been convicted.

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