The Phaserl



by Joshua Krause, The Daily Sheeple:

Tyrannical regimes have a habit of treating every problem with the same solution. That solution is always more tyranny. Then their harebrained control freak solutions cause multiple crises, which they use as an excuse to roll out more tyranny. And on and on it goes until either the entire system collapses, or the government is violently overthrown by the people.

Venezuela is currently in the throes of this vicious downward spiral, and it has resulted in widespread poverty, crime, infrastructure breakdowns, and shortages of all goods including (and especially) food. In response to these shortages, the government has delivered a new food distribution system in the capital city of Caracas. Residents of the city will now have to get their food from members of the Socialist Party.

Originally Venezuelans would have to wait in line at grocery stores for hours to buy food. Now the nation’s food supplies are run by the Local Committees for Supply and Production, which is run by Socialist Party members. They are responsible for combating black markets (the only free markets left in the country) and delivering food door to door, thus preventing anyone from receiving unauthorized rations. Maduro has called this a “great instrument of the Revolution to win the economic war.”

The food is delivered every 21 days, and consists of about 13 pounds of rice, plus sugar, beans, milk, and a small jug of vegetable oil. Surely the incorruptible members of the Socialist Party will do a fantastic job of delivering these meager goods to the people. And hey, now the government doesn’t have to be embarrassed by the 8 hour-long lines wrapping around the city of Caracas. As an extra bonus, they’ll be able to keep those pesky opponents of the regime from getting any food. From now on, anyone who opposes Maduro’s socialist regime is at the mercy of his commie lackeys.

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