The Phaserl


Why China’s Official Gold Reserve Announcement is A Lie

by Andrew Hoffman, Miles Franklin:

It has been over 24 hours since China announced its updated official gold reserves are now 1,658 metric tonnes and my monetary Tourette’s has finally subsided. I am no longer blurting out mile-long strings of profanity, punching walls or screaming at the never ending stream of dim-witted drivers and pedestrians who seem hell-bent on becoming hood ornaments for the chrome grille on my truck.

Clearly, I am still irritated but I am no longer feeling like the Hulk looking for things to smash… for the most part; my kids, however, are still hiding from Dad. “Don’t worry, Guys.Someone just lied to Daddy, and you guys know how I feel about liars. I’ll be fine – just go and watch some Netflix for now.”

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