by James Corbett, The International Forecaster:
Earlier this week, His Royal Heinie Prince Whatshisname and his wife, Couldntcare, descended the steps outside the Royal Hospital of So-and-so and held a diamond-encrusted baby basket to the heavens proclaiming, “Behold your new reptile overlord, Charlotte Elizabeth Diana Honestitwasjustacarcrash Windsor Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Beelzebub! All shall bow down before her!” And the assembled crowd politely applauded, waving little union jacks the while. It was even reported that a retiree at the scene had been waiting there to see this announcement for the last 73 years and could now die in peace, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
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